Six things every kid needs, and the one they don't

I am exhausted! As Melinda mentioned yesterday, I am currently taking two classes and the work load is getting the better of me! On top of that, something in the air is irritating my eyes, so I have been sporting some pink, itchy eyes that last week or so. Ugh!!

I am continuing the series Six Things Every Kid Needs, And The One They Don't that I found in the April 17, 2010 issue of Woman's Day magazine. I shared numbers one and two on the list two weeks ago and numbers three and four last week. Just click on the links if you want to check those out!!

#5 - Playtime
Playtime is vital for children, and not just because kids enjoy play time or because you need to get some stuff done. Play time actually helps their brains develop properly. Free play time, meaning play that is not adult or parent directed, is important because it helps children discover their talents, develop resourcefulness skills, and hone their abilities to problem solve and their abilities to get along with others. Free play exercises their imagination and stretches their creativity, while allowing them to try things and fail at things in private without judgment. All of this helps them do better in school because kids who play have nimble minds and can look at things from different sides.

The next time you’re thinking of signing your kids up for an activity, first think about whether or not they have enough time each week to just hang out and let their imagination guide them.

#6 - Independence
“The way many people parent today does not prepare kids for adulthood,” Dr. Skenazy says. “We wait for them, cheer for their every move, take them to soccer, dance and every other lesson — and we take away their chance to do things on their own.”

Doing things independently is very important for a child because children feel confident when they feel competent. Letting your child make his own bed, walk into a store and pick up a few things by himself, or walk to town tells him you believe in him. The same confidence emerges when a child completes his own science fair or other school project. Of course, help him collect the materials and ask him questions that will guide him to its completion, but let it be his. So what if it doesn’t look as put-together as the other parent-influenced designs? Your child will feel satisfied knowing that he has produced something on his own.

I believe this is the hardest of the six for parents to give their children. The more we do for our children, the less they learn to do for themselves. I can attest to the young adults that come to my classroom without the ability to pick up after themselves - shocking! My daughter's second grade teacher has made numerous references in her newsletters to the need for parents to give their children responsibilities at home. While giving children independence and responsibility is not always easy - emotionally or time-wise - it is vital to their healthy development. I remember discussing this very thing with a mom of one of my students at conferences a few months ago. The conversation ended when I asked her how she felt about her son living in her basement playing video games when he was forty. The picture painted a very clear picture for the mom and I have seen some obvious improvement on her part and her sons!! Remember - the more you do for them now, the less they learn to do for themselves.

Good luck and I will see you next week when we find out the one thing your kid does not need! Should be interesting!!

Your Girlfriend,
Michelle