Six things every kid needs, and one they don't

Over spring break, oh glorious spring break, I read a great article in Woman's Day magazine. The article was Six Things Every Kid Needs, And The One Thing They Don't. The title alone made the article worth reading, and as I read the article, I decided it was worth sharing. I shared the first two of the six last week and will continue with two more today.

#3 - Conversation
Take the time to really 'hear' your kids, because that will make them more likely to talk to you regularly. But how do you get your child to talk? The key is to engage your children in genuine, interesting conversation. Unfortunately, too many parents ask perfunctory questions like ‘How was school today?’ or equate talking with lecturing. And keep in mind that to get the dialogue going at all, you first need to be around. So schedule a regular walk or board game to give you uninterrupted time together.

Another common mistake we as parents make is rushing in to solve things for our children - especially teenagers. We say, ‘You know what you should do?’ and then we tell them, instead of listening and allowing them to fully get out what they’re trying to say without judging it. Instead of offering advice, ask questions that can help them come to conclusions on their own. Make a point to give your child eye contact. Sit with your kids and give them the respect of listening in a way they deserve.

#4 - Something Shared
Have you had a moment today where you really connected with your child? Did you share a joke, a hug, or a game of catch? It’s easy to go through the day telling your child what to do and never fully engage with each other. When kids feel connected to you, they learn that they’re connected to people outside the family, and that the way they act has an effect on others. Feeling like you have a place in the world and people who support you leads to happiness in adulthood.

Connectedness should happen naturally in everyday life. Family dinner, car trips, and other regular activities can be a shared joy that leaves you feeling close. Many parents approach parenting as drudgery, a job that’s a lot of work. What parents and kids need to feel connected to one another is to have fun. Sometimes that can mean doing nothing, but doing nothing comfortably together.

So plan family activities, shared challenges, and regular family dinners to reclaim a sense of fun and joy. If you do, your child will benefit by becoming more socially skilled, have a better self-image, and think of home as their haven when things go wrong.

Your Girlfriend,
Michelle