Six things every kid needs, and one they don't!

Pretty catchy title, eh? I would love to take credit for it, but I can't. I am actually sharing from a great article I stumbled over in the April 17, 2010 BetWoman's Day magazine. I will be sharing the basics of the article over the next three weeks.

I am fortunate to get a hot-off-the-press copy of Woman's Day twice each month in my mailbox and I enjoy looking at the pictures and drooling over the recipes and food photos. I am completely in love with the bowl of pasta on the cover, but I digress... Over spring break last week, I cracked open my freshest copy of Woman's Day and started reading the article Six Things Every Kid Needs and One They Don't. I read the article from start to finish and thought it was a really good read. It wasn't that the article taught me anything new, it was that the article reinforced what I already knew, and I love it when that happens because it makes me feel really smart! :o)

As many of us have witnessed, childhood has become “a pressure-packed pre-adulthood”. Parents are more concerned than ever with ensuring that their child has every opportunity available in an effort to ensure a well-rounded child - music lessons, baseball, dance classes, gymnastics, swimming lessons, soccer club, reading circles, and the list goes on and on. With all this grooming going on, many parents lose sight of the most important things that our children need and often give them the one thing they don't. Without further ado, here are two of the six things that every kid needs...

#1 - “I Love You’s”
Of course, we all love our kids, but do you remember to tell them? There has never been a kid whose parents have told him too many times that they loved him, but letting your kids know you love them is more than just words: it’s consistently showing them interest, affection, and concern. Take the time each day to show your kids special love – special time to talk one-on-one, time to snuggle, or if you have older children that won't sit and talk with you or snuggle with you, how about taking the time to get to know your children’s friends.

#2 - Structure and Limits
Over the last decade or two, there has been a blurring of boundaries between parents in the United States and their children, making parents more reluctant to impose their authority. Parents worry that their children will be angry with them if they try to discipline them, but it is our job as parents to discipline our children and teach them appropriate ways to behave and act. More importantly, boundaries actually make children more confident and gives children the strength to try new things.

I was given a dose of this reality before I had children. As a fifth grade teacher, I had Justin W in my class, a boy who was in trouble often, never did his schoolwork, and was known as a behavior problem. I fretted the entire summer knowing that I would have to deal with this boy the following fall and decided that I needed to be prepared for Justin. I would not let him get away with anything, but would let him know he came to me with a clean slate. The school year started and Justin pushed every button he could, but I was determined to stand my ground and hold him to the boundaries that had been established with our class rules. After two or three months, Justin knew I meant business and slowly started to follow rules, do his schoolwork, and had genuinely pleasant behavior. Justin became one of my all-time favorite students and I was actually sad when our time together ended.

Fast forward a year-and-a-half later when Justin stopped by my classroom to visit me. As we stood in my classroom doorway, Justin brought up many fun memories we had when he was my student. When he went to leave, he told me something that has stuck with me to this day. He told me that even though I was ‘all up in his business 24/7’, he knew that I really liked him and that I truly cared for him, something that had been lacking in his life. I asked why he believed that since I thought I had been pretty firm with him. Justin told me that it was that firmness and the boundaries I set for him that let him know I cared for him. Wow! The light bulb went off in my head – kids want boundaries and limits because those boundaries and limits show our children that we love and care for them and are looking out for their best interest.

I hope you have enjoyed the first two of six things every child needs. In fact, I hope you liked it so much, that I have left you wanting more... if so, you can tune back in next week OR you can purchase the April 17, 2010 issue of Woman's Day. I hope you choose to join us next week!!

Have a wonderful day!!

Your Girlfriend,
Michelle