Eight Ways to Reconnect with your Spouse - #1

The first way to strengthen your connection with your spouse or to reconnect with your spouse, is to spend more time with him! Most of us would love to be able to spend more time with our spouse. Sometimes we might catch ourselves daydreaming about a date night with the man we fell in love with. A night where we get to spend quality time chatting and reconnecting. We may even wish for those long lost butterflies in the tummy. Then reality sets in - we see the laundry, the dishes, the checkbook, and oh yes, the children! Is this the way it has to be, so many things getting in the way of one of our most important relationships? It does not! Over the next few weeks, on Thursday and Friday, we want to share some easy ways to reconnect with the man you married.

One of the most difficult things about planning date night or time with the hubby is finding care for the children. For most of us, finding a sitter can be a daunting task. I have heard several comments from my girlfriends - no teens live close, we do not know any teens, or we don't have any family close. Then there is the issue of money. A babysitter can cost you what a meal and a movie cost. Add this all together and it becomes an expensive evening. I am not saying a night out with your spouse is not worth the cost of a sitter, but it may not be in the budget. So we put it off, thinking it is not that important.

Take a moment and think about relationships. Think about the friends you had in High School and College. Are you still friends with these people? If you answered yes, it is probably because you worked hard to keep the relationship going. If you do not put forth the effort with your spouse, little by little, you will grow apart from your spouse and find you really don't know the person you are married to. Staying connected with your spouse is super important to a healthy marriage and having quality time to ensure you are both on the same page with family and personal decisions is a must! So what's a couple to do?

Well, if the first way to reconnect with your spouse is by going on a date, then you need to know two magical words that will make date nights possible - Kid Swap! A kid swap is exactly what it sounds like - swapping your kids with someone else in exchange for you watching their children another evening. A kid swap is simple to plan and need not be complicated or a heavy commitment. Ask a friend with children similar in age to your own if she might enjoy having a few hours alone with her husband. When she stops laughing, share with her the idea of a kid swap and ask her to discuss it with her husband. If they are agreeable to the kid swap, then ask her when she and her husband would like to go out. Choose a date, a time, and decide if children are to be fed before drop-off or if dinner will be included in the swap. Lastly, decide on a time limit, keeping in mind that you will need to watch her children for the same amount of time that you and your husband plan to be out.

My husband and I recently started a kid swap with some friends and neighbors of ours. They graciously offered to watch kids first. My husband and I decided to only be out two-and-a-half hours because our friends both work outside of the home and by Friday, we are all tired. Two-and-a-half hours was a nice amount of time to grab some dinner and just have some uninterupted, quality time to talk. We even ran two errands. On top of that, we knew that when it was our turn to watch the kids, we would be able to handle that amount of time without feeling exhausted the next day. So, kid swap makes everyone a winner. We get to go out and have much needed time with our spouse while our kids are having fun playing with friends and we don't break the bank paying for a sitter. Our friends will have the same luxury in just a few weeks.

Consider making a date with your spouse and find somone to kid swap with you. Check with us tomorrow for another number two to reconnect with your spouse!

Your Girlfriends, Melinda and Michelle