Eight Ways to Reconnect With Your Spouse #6

One of the things that I always loved hearing about as a child was stories from parent's childhoods. My dad would always make me and my friends laugh with his tales of growing up in Philadelphia and spending summers on the family farm in Oklahoma. I wanted to share the same kind of memories with my own children. A Memory Book is a project for you and your husband to do together. Take some time to really figure out how you want to accomplish this and how you want to pass your story on to your children? This can be done many ways- journaling, a scrapbook of stories, or even a video.

After you have decided how you will share your story, you need to get your supplies. If it is a journal, make sure you each have one. This way you can work together or separately as the stories come to you. A scrapbook that you can both add your stories to is a great option as well. Of course, you may want to include pictures to your scrapbook or your journal. Men may be more inclined to get on board with this project if you go the video route. You can actually tape yourselves sharing the story to one another or just to your children. Whichever way you choose to go, the following questions may help get you started.

1. Memories of my school days.
2. Fond memories of my parents when I was growing up.
3. Memories of the houses I have lived in.
4. Things I collected.
5. Favorite family recipe.
6. My favorite holiday when I was growing up. Why?
7. My memories about how I learned to drive.
8. My first job.
9. The kind of music I liked when I was young.
10. Memories of friends I grew up with.
11. How I met your mom/dad. Our wedding day.
12. People I admire and why.
13. Quotes that have inspired me.
14. How technology has changed since I was young.
15. My favorite: flower, smell, sound, color. Why these are my favorites.
16. When I was young, more than anything, else I wished for....
17. Memories of my sisters and brothers.
18. How I liked to dress. My favorite style.
19. Sacrifices my parents made for me when I was growing up.
20. Thinking back to how I behaved when I was a teenager.

I hope you can create a way to share your most special memories with your spouse and your children!

Your girlfriend,
Melinda

Eight Ways to Reconnect With Spouse #5

Sometimes it is impossible for us to get out of the house. There are times when we just want a few minutes to catch up with our spouse. We sit down to begin talking, and we are greeted with "Mommy, I need a drink." "Can you put on a movie?" "Dad, can you play with me?" Oh yeah, we have kids! How can you catch a few minutes with your spouse without locking your children in the bedroom? Simple, ok maybe not simple... but workable. Ask your spouse to help you institute couch time in your house. We all need this time to reconnect. Here are a few quick tips to make this happen:

1. Find a time in the day that is convenient for both of you. It does not need to be everyday, but it should happen a couple times a week.
2. Set up a time limit - you may even want to set a timer.
3. Explain to your children that it is important for mom and dad to have couch time, because it helps them to be a better mommy and daddy. Also explain that when mom and dad are having couch time, they are not to be interrupted.
4. Find something interesting for the children to do - movie, game, coloring. A small snack and drink may help too.
5. Before you and your spouse sit down, jot down the things you want to discuss. You may not get to everything, but having a plan will help you stay focused.

Remember is not a date night - you still need those, but couch time is important. It is a great way to reconnect with your spouse, enjoy each others company, and spend a little time with the one you love!

Your girlfriend,
Melinda

Weight Loss Wednesday

We know a few of our girlfriends are pregnant right now, including myself! Weight loss does not and should not apply to us right now, although crazy amounts of weight gain should also not apply to us. I thought this week we would offer a few tips on eating healthy during pregnancy. Web MD offers some great advice on what to eat and I will post some of those below. If you need more specific info on supplements and diet restrictions, check out their web site. Remember your doctor is also a great source of info.

Goals for Healthy Eating When Pregnant

*Eat a variety of foods to get all the nutrients you need. Recommended daily servings include 6-11 servings of breads and grains, two to four servings of fruit, four or more servings of vegetables, four servings of dairy products, and three servings of protein sources (meat, poultry, fish, eggs or nuts). Use fats and sweets sparingly.

*Choose foods high in fiber that are enriched such as whole-grain breads, cereals, pasta, rice, fruits, and vegetables.

*Make sure you are getting enough vitamins and minerals in your daily diet while pregnant. You should take a prenatal vitamin supplement to make sure you are consistently getting enough vitamins and minerals every day. Your doctor can recommend an over-the-counter brand or prescribe a prenatal vitamin for you.

*Eat and drink at least four servings of dairy products and calcium-rich foods a day to help ensure that you are getting 1000-1300 mg of calcium in your daily diet during pregnancy.

*Eat at least three servings of iron-rich foods per day to ensure you are getting 27 mg of iron daily.
Choose at least one good source of vitamin C every day, such as oranges, grapefruits, strawberries, honeydew, papaya, broccoli, cauliflower, Brussel sprouts, green peppers, tomatoes, and mustard greens. Pregnant women need 70 mg of vitamin C a day.

*Choose at least one good source of folic acid every day, like dark green leafy vegetables, veal, and legumes (lima beans, black beans, black-eyed peas and chickpeas). Every pregnant woman needs at least 0.4 mg of folic acid per day to help prevent neural tube defects such as spina bifida.

*Choose at least one source of vitamin A every other day. Sources of vitamin A include carrots, pumpkins, sweet potatoes, spinach, water squash, turnip greens, beet greens, apricots, and cantaloupe. Know that excessive vitamin A intake (10,000 IU/day) may be associated with fetal malformations.

For all of you pregnant girlfriends, eat healthy - to take care of you and that precious little one!

Michelle also wanted to update you on her weight loss adventure. She lost two more pounds this week, making her total weight loss 6 pounds! Go Michelle!

Melinda

Tasty Tuesday - Banana Bread with Streusel Nut Topping

Last week, I invited the other Girlfriend over to my house to do some blog planning. While the littles played, she and I drank hot tea and nibbled on the bread below. Let's just say, my very pregnant friend REALLY liked the banana bread. I hope you like it too and if you want to be really popular, invite a girlfriend over and share it! Banana Bread with Streusel Nut Topping

Bread
2 cups all purpose flour
1 ½ tsp. baking powder
½ tsp. baking soda
¼ tsp. ground cinnamon
1/8 tsp. ground nutmeg
¼ tsp. salt
2 beaten eggs
1 ½ cups mashed bananas (5 bananas)
1 cup sugar
¼ cup cooking oil
¼ cup applesauce
¼ cup chopped walnuts

Streusel-Nut Topping
¼ cup packed brown sugar
3 Tbsp. all purpose flour
2 Tbsp. softened butter
1/3 cup chopped nuts

In a small bowl, combine brown sugar and flour. Using a pastry blender, cut in butter until mixture resembles coarse crumbles. Stir in nuts.

Grease bottom and 1.2 inches up the sides of one 9 x 5 x 3 inch or two 7 ½ x 3 ½ x 2 inch loaf pans and set aside. Combine flour, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon, nutmeg, and salt. Make a well in center of flour mixture and set aside.

In a medium bowl combine eggs, bananas, sugar, oil, and applesauce. Add egg mixture all at once to flour mixture. Stir just until moistened. Fold in nuts. Spoon batter into prepared pan(s). Sprinkle Streusel-Nut Topping over batter.

Bake in a 350° oven for 55 to 60 minutes for a larger loaf pan and 40 – 45 minutes for two smaller pans or until toothpick inserted near center comes out clean. Cool in pan on wire rack for 10 minutes. Remove from pan.
Cool completely on a wire rack.

Your Girlfriend, Michelle

Valentines for your Children

We all know that Valentines Day is all about love! What if, instead of focusing on romantic love this Valentine's Day, what if we expanded our idea of Valentine's Day to include love for others - our children, our friends, and our spouse? Over the next three Mondays, we are going to share ideas for spreading some Valentine's Day love over all of our relationships. Today, I am going to post some easy ways to share love with your kids that have been posted by some of my favorite bloggers.

How about these super cute sandwich bag toppers for your child's lunch that I found at Living Locurto? Just make your little one a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, cut it with some heart-shaped cookie cutters, place in sandwich baggie, and top the baggie with this super cute topper. You could also put some Valentine's Day candies in a baggie and add the topper. Want the topper? Just click here and print.

We all know that cupcakes are all the rage right now - why else would I have served them at my birthday party this past summer? These yummy red velvet cupcakes were created by BHG. The ribbon around the cupcake wrapper makes it tres chic!

One of my favorite bloggers is Bakerella. The cupcakes with conversation hearts and the fondant roses are her works of art. You must also check out her infamous cupcake pops!

Don't you think your kids would enjoy an ipod? How about making an ipod for them? I found the template for this on the Family Fun website. It is a box of conversation hearts and two miniature reese cups. Too cute!

In our house, Valentine's Day is all about the iced cut-out cookies. If you have a great Valentine's Day for your child, why not share it with a few of your Girlfriends by posting it as a comment?

Your Girlfriend, Michelle

Our First Girlfriends Night Out - This Friday

Hey girls...would you like to join the Girlfriends from your *favorite blog* at our first ever Girlfriends Night Out? Well, grab a friend or two and get ready to Laugh out Loud! Comedienne Kerri Pomarolli is back! She is from Hollywood and she's out to spread an eternal message through humor and downright fun. Join the Girlfriends and treat yourself to chocolate (of course) and lots of good for you Laughs. The show will be hosted by the Girlfriends At Grace from Grace Church in Bath, which is about three minutes north of Summit Mall. I had the privilege of attending an event at Grace Church a few months ago and was completely blown away because they went ALL OUT! I am sure you will not be disappointed!! Get your tickets today, before the show is sold out! Tickets are $15.00 each or 2 for $25.00. Melinda and I would love for you to join us!! Just follow this link and purchase your ticket online. Be sure to print your confirmation as that will serve as your ticket the night of the event. Buy your ticket soon because ticket sales end this Wednesday! **No tickets will be sold the night of the event.**

We look forward to laughing with you this Friday!!

Your Girlfriends, Melinda and Michelle


PS - If you plan to join us, let us know by leaving a comment on the blog. We would like to go out with all the Girlfriends for coffee, dessert, and girl talk!

Eight Ways to Reconnect With Your Spouse #4

When I was first married, a girlfriend gave me a book and told me I had to read it. She said it really helped her and her husband to better understand one another. I decided to read it, hoping it would help me understand this man I just said "I do" to. I was pleasantly surprised when reading The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I quickly shared it with my new husband, and we both thought it made sense.

If you are not familiar with this book, let me give you a quick overview. The premise of the book is that we all speak one of five love languages. Sometimes we have a mixture, but for most of us, we lean towards a certain love language. The challenging part is that we normally communicate with our spouse in our love language, not theirs. This causes a problem and a breakdown in communication. We can grow apart and tend not to communicate at all because we may feel like our spouse is not hearing us. The solution is to figure out your spouses love language and your spouse knowing your love language - then communicate with one another in the love language you each understand best.

The 5 Love Languages with some simple examples are:
1. Words of Affirmation- telling your spouse how special they are
2. Quality Time- spending time with one another and focusing on your spouse
3. Gifts- giving presents and special mementos
4. Acts of Service- helping with things at home
5. Physical Touch- holding hands or rubbing their back

My husband and I quickly discovered that our love languages were not the same. My love language is Acts of Service and his is Gifts. I realized that I was becoming frustrated with him because I would show acts of kindness to him (laundry, dishes) and he could really not care less about my acts of service. Worse yet, he didn't return the favor. I would make comments like "Don't you care if our house looks like a barn?" He would just laugh and tell me to quit overreacting. What!?! Did he not see that the messy house around us was bothering me? He did, so he would bring me little gifts or write me sweet notes, (his love language, blah! )but I just wanted him to pull out the vacuum (my love language). See what I'm talking about? I am not big on giving gifts and he does not always see the need to vacuum or clean, but we both understand now that it is important to the other one.

My husband and I try hard to speak each others love language because it is a small way to show each other you care. It is not easy, but communicating with your spouse the way they best communicate can help you avoid many sleepness nights trying to figure out 'what his problem is' or 'why doesn't he understand me'?

This weekend, I encourage you to think about your spouse and yourself. What love languages do you speak, and are you speaking the right language to each other? If you both speak the same language, you are lucky! If not, step up and try to speak their language. You will be happier if you do!

Make it a great weekend with your spouse!

Melinda

Eight Ways to Reconnect with Your Spouse #3

You've finally lined up a sitter for the kids, made dinner reservations, and dressed up for a night out. Trouble is, you can't think of a conversation topic that doesn't involve the kids, work, or bills. Lucky for you, this girlfriend has your back - conversation starter cards might be the answer to your dialogue distress. Just pick a few of the questions that you think you and your husband would enjoy discussing, and print them out, stick them in your purse, and when your discussion starts to drag, whip out your cards and voila – instant conversation.

A few conversational pointers - the key to a good conversation is asking open-ended questions. Don’t ask these questions expecting a certain answer in return. Most importantly, really listen to what your spouse has to say. You might learn something new that can improve your relationship. I know I did.

1. Name something you've never done but would like to try. Why does it appeal to you? What's kept you from trying it?
2. If someone offered us an all-expenses-paid second honeymoon anywhere in the world, where would you want to go and why?
3. What kind of volunteer work do you think you'd be especially well suited for?
4. Tell me about someone outside of your family who impacted your life as you were growing up.
5. Do you know your spouses favorite things? Favorite home cooked meal, dessert, way to relax, or favorite city to visit?
6. What would you do if you won $1 million?
7. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be? Why?
8. If you could store up only one hour’s worth of memory in your mind, which hour of our marriage would you want to remember?
9. When do you feel most loved?
10. In your opinion, what makes a great parent?
11. What are five essential values we want our children to embrace above all others?
12. What can we do as a couple to change the world in which we live?
13. What goals would you like us to accomplish in our marriage in the next year? … five years? … ten years?
14. If you didn’t have to worry about making a living, what would you most like to do for the rest of your life?
15. What would you most like people to remember you for after you die?
16. What are the five things you are most thankful for in your life right now? What are some of the things you do to show this thankfulness?
17. Whose marriage do you most consider to be a model marriage? What is it about their marriage that you most admire?
18. Which holiday do you enjoy the most? Why that one?
19. Where do you want to live when we retire?
20. What accomplishment are you most proud of in your life?
21. What person, living or not, do you want to be like? Why?
22. What would be your favorite vacation spot?
23. What is your favorite attribute?
24. What do people most admire about you?
25. If you could do anything ‘fun’, what would that be?

You now have twenty-five reasons not to have a quiet evening with your husband. :o)

Your Girlfriend, Michelle

Weight Loss Wednesday & Ten Terrific Tips for Exercising

Weight Loss Wednesdays are not only about weight loss, but anything having to do with a healthy lifestyle. Today, I am doing my weekly weigh in and then sharing Ten Terrific Tips to help motivate you to exercise. This morning, I weighed myself and I am down another pound, for a total of four pounds. I am happy with my progress, because I believe that slow and steady wins the race. If I take it off slowly, it is much more likely to stay off. I must say, I am tired of being hungry. Seriously... On a positive note, I did improve my exercise as I said I would last week, but my exercise schedule still leaves much to be desired. I did pilates last Tuesday, and it went well. I did the 30 Day Shred on Wednesday and nearly died. Seriously... I barely made it through level one and was so sore that walking was a struggle for the next two days. I did the 30 Day Shred again last night and it did go a bit better - maybe because my boyfriend joined me. My goals for the next few weeks are to continue with my eating habits, substitute water for my daily soy chai lattes, and to exercise for four days every week. So, how is your diet and exercise plan coming along?

We all know that exercise is an important investment in our long-term health and well-being. Yet, many people, including myself, cannot stand the thought of working up a sweat on a regular, or even occasional basis, which is why I have come up with Ten Terrific Tips to Jump Start Your Exercise Routine and make exercise more palatable.

1. Find activities you like - if you positively loathe the thought of running or pumping iron, then don’t do it. Instead, concentrate on activities you do enjoy, such as dancing, swimming, racquetball, and biking which are all fun and great exercise too!
2. Establish goals - set benchmarks that you know you can achieve. The satisfaction you feel upon achieving a goal will help to serve as motivation when setting your next target.
3. Create mini-workouts - instead of a 30 minute muscle blast, why not break your exercise into ‘bite-sized’ mini-workoutsTry three separate sessions of moderate activity that last for 10 minutes each.
4. Reward yourself - achieving a new goal may feel more satisfying if you occasionally splurge on a celebratory reward - as long as your reward isn’t a huge hot fudge sundae! Treat yourself to a smoothie or a new pair of tennis shoes after meeting an exercise goal such as seven workouts.
5. Schedule times to exercise - people who dislike exercise like to think they are too busy to work out – this is what does me in! By scheduling a consistent time to exercise, you make activity a priority and send a message to yourself and others about your commitment to personal good health. Exercise can also be a great way to get some ‘me’ time, well-earned time away from your other family or work obligations.
6. Exercise early - studies have shown that people are more likely to stick with their exercise routine when they schedule it for the beginning of the day. Early exercise has three major benefits: it gets the workout over with early, provides you with a boost of energy that jump-starts your day, and helps to keep your eating on track throughout the day since you know how hard you worked out in the morning.
7. Vary your activities - perhaps nothing dooms a workout routine more than boredom, especially among those who dislike exercise in the first place. Adding variety to your workout can keep things fresh and exciting. For example, you could use the treadmill one day, go swimming the following day and take a long bike ride the day after that.
8. Try teamwork - working out with others is a great way to make exercise more interesting, makes time pass more pleasantly, and can help keep you motivated.
9. Get a personal trainer - a personal trainer can help create a comprehensive workout program that meets your specific needs and guide you through its paces. Trainers are also great motivators who can help track your progress.
10. Make it a family affair - few family activities offer the great opportunity to bond with your clan while also promoting good health. In addition, when you exercise as a family, you will be modeling a commitment to healthy living that will benefit your kids for the rest of their lives.

Girlfriend to girlfriend, I must say, just knowing that I am going to be posting my weight loss (or gain) on Girlfriends With Grace, does force me to think before eating something I shouldn't and makes me think twice before skipping my exercise. I would love for you to join me! :o)

Your Girlfriend, Michelle

Tasty Tuesday- Tempting Tortellini Soup

Comfort. The definition for comfort is to give strength or hope to. To me, this is the very definition of a girlfriend. Someone who is there for you when you need a little bit of encouragement. A person who will listen when things get tough. When we think of this word, at least one person should pop into mind. We all need someone who can be there for us.

Today I want to share one of my all-time favorite comfort food recipes - an old standby for the days I feel down in the dumps. Although I am not Giada, (much to my husbands dismay), this is an easy Italian inspired soup. It is my spin on chicken noodle soup and is great for a cold night.

Tempting Tortellini Soup
Serves: 6
2 cloves of garlic, crushed
1 Tbsp. margarine
1 cup cooked, shredded chicken (rotisserie chicken works great!)
2 cans chicken broth
1 (8 oz.) pkg. fresh or thawed frozen tortellini
1 (10 oz.) pkg. frozen spinach, thawed
1 (16 oz.) can stewed tomatoes, undrained
coarsley grated Parmesan cheese

In a large saucepan over medium-high heat, cook and stir garlic in margarine for 2 to 3 minutes. Add broth, chicken, and tortellini. Heat to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer for 10 minutes. Add spinach and tomatoes. Simmer an additional 5 minutes. Serve topped with Parmesan Cheese.

Girlfriend to girlfriend, I hope this recipe offers you a little comfort tonight!

Melinda

Makeover Monday...

I was talking about the blog with my boyfriend - technically, he is my husband, but boyfriend is so much more fun - while we were on a date the other night. We were talking about the marriage relationship series that Melinda and I have been working on - Eight Ways to Reconnect With Your Spouse - and he was telling me that he thought I had missed the mark on my first post about kid swap. Sadly, he had a few really good points about how my post was lacking. So, with that said, I think I would like to makeover my post from last Thursday.

I would like to make-over my way too wordy, step-by-step explanation of how to do a Kid Swap. My boyfriend thought that the name kid swap said it all. So I went back and reread the post and I think my post sounded like I was explaining a ground-breaking new concept to fifth graders, for which I can not be too sorry because I help put food on the table by explaining ground-breaking new concepts to fifth graders. Yep, I am a fifth grade teacher, so I apologize if my posts sound as though I am talking to a bunch of children. I don't mean to do that...

I would also like to make-over my lack of personal perspective as to why kid swaps are so important to reconnecting to your spouse. To do that, I need to take you back to the second weekend of October 2009. My husband (notice, husband - not boyfriend) and I decided to allow his parents to watch the little ones and we took off for a much needed weekend get-a-way. It had been a very long time since we had gotten to go away without the kids, let alone even had a few hours away from the kids. The weekend had everything that a perfect weekend could possibly offer including tickets to the watch the Ohio State Buckeyes put the hurt on the Wisconsin Badgers. What it didn't have was any decent conversation. My husband and I found we just weren't 'clicking' when it came to having any quality conversation - in retrospect, I think we both would say it was sorta like having a first date with someone. After we were home for a few hours and back to reality, we sat down and discussed our weekend.

We both had a good time, but realized we were out of practice with engaging each other one-on-one without the distractions of the kids or presences of other peers. It was then that we realized the importance and necessity of more frequent dates. It makes the chemistry works better. It makes that ‘click’ happen that was missing with our weekend. It provides some actual foundation to relating with each other. Listen, we could have ended this weekend saying, "wow, what a great game, right?" and left it that, which probably happens more often in relationships these days than we know (including in our own), but I don't want ten or fifteen years from now to be an empty-nester and not have anything to say to my husband, or worse yet, I don't want to end up as one of those terrible statistics of married for twenty plus years and now divorced. What a tragedy that would be.

So, knowing that we are currently a one income household and babysitters are not in the budget, we decided that the kid swap was the only way we were going to be doing any dating, and well, you know the rest... we asked our friends if they would like to kid swap. This past Friday, we got to watch their kids while they went on a hot date to Wasabi. It is nice to have that time once a month with my boyfriend, but it was also nice to know our friends were doing the same thing to take care of their relationship.

Well, that is it for my blog post makeover. I have said it before, and I will say it again - Girlfriends With Grace is all about relationships. I hope my post today helps explain the importance of my relationship with my husband and how vital quality time with him is to the longevity of our marriage. I also hope that I have clarified why kids swaps, while not a ground-breaking new discovery, can benefit your relationship with your spouse. Most importantly, I hope my post makeover encourages my Girlfriends evaluate the amount and quality of time they are spending with their husbands.

Your Girlfriend, Michelle

Eight Ways to Reconnect With your Spouse - #2

Let's face it, dating is expensive. When your young and in love, you do not mind laying out the cash; but now we have better things to spend our money on, like groceries, pets, and the mortgage. Wait a minute....how did our pets become more important than a special evening with the hubby? The money comes in and the money flies out before we get a chance to have a romantic evening. Yesterday we offered a great way to have inexpensive babysitting, but face it - dinner and a movie are pricey too. I personally feel ill when I have to pay around $30-40 for a meal then another $20 for a movie! That is almost my grocery budget for an entire week! So, for number two in our series of Eight Ways to Reconnect with Your Spouse, we would like to offer you some inexpensive ways to have quality time with your spouse and still not break the budget.

1. Have a cozy night in. Pick up some Chinese food, rent a movie, and snuggle up in the comfort of your own home!
2. Catch the early show! Eat out for lunch and take in a matinee on a Saturday. You can have the kids home in bed at their regular time, but still have a nice day out.
3. Head out for breakfast one morning. This may even fit into your schedule if you both work.
4. Plan a picnic in the park. What could be more romantic than a nice day in the outdoors with your spouse! Of course, I would not recommend this one until at least spring.
5. Plan a hike. Along with the one above, go to a local park for a hike. Great exercise for both of you plus you can enjoy nature for free!
6. Find a hobby that you both enjoy. You are probably not going to convince your husband to take up scrapbooking, but you both might enjoy a cooking class or golf lessons.
7. Be a kid again! Take your spouse bowling, roller skating, or go-carting! Sometimes it is fun to let loose a little!
8. Have a game night with a few other couples. Form couple teams and work together to beat your friends!

These are just a few ideas. We know you have some great cheap date ideas! We want to hear from you. Tell us how you can spend time with your spouse this weekend!

Your girlfriends, Melinda and Michelle

Eight Ways to Reconnect with your Spouse - #1

The first way to strengthen your connection with your spouse or to reconnect with your spouse, is to spend more time with him! Most of us would love to be able to spend more time with our spouse. Sometimes we might catch ourselves daydreaming about a date night with the man we fell in love with. A night where we get to spend quality time chatting and reconnecting. We may even wish for those long lost butterflies in the tummy. Then reality sets in - we see the laundry, the dishes, the checkbook, and oh yes, the children! Is this the way it has to be, so many things getting in the way of one of our most important relationships? It does not! Over the next few weeks, on Thursday and Friday, we want to share some easy ways to reconnect with the man you married.

One of the most difficult things about planning date night or time with the hubby is finding care for the children. For most of us, finding a sitter can be a daunting task. I have heard several comments from my girlfriends - no teens live close, we do not know any teens, or we don't have any family close. Then there is the issue of money. A babysitter can cost you what a meal and a movie cost. Add this all together and it becomes an expensive evening. I am not saying a night out with your spouse is not worth the cost of a sitter, but it may not be in the budget. So we put it off, thinking it is not that important.

Take a moment and think about relationships. Think about the friends you had in High School and College. Are you still friends with these people? If you answered yes, it is probably because you worked hard to keep the relationship going. If you do not put forth the effort with your spouse, little by little, you will grow apart from your spouse and find you really don't know the person you are married to. Staying connected with your spouse is super important to a healthy marriage and having quality time to ensure you are both on the same page with family and personal decisions is a must! So what's a couple to do?

Well, if the first way to reconnect with your spouse is by going on a date, then you need to know two magical words that will make date nights possible - Kid Swap! A kid swap is exactly what it sounds like - swapping your kids with someone else in exchange for you watching their children another evening. A kid swap is simple to plan and need not be complicated or a heavy commitment. Ask a friend with children similar in age to your own if she might enjoy having a few hours alone with her husband. When she stops laughing, share with her the idea of a kid swap and ask her to discuss it with her husband. If they are agreeable to the kid swap, then ask her when she and her husband would like to go out. Choose a date, a time, and decide if children are to be fed before drop-off or if dinner will be included in the swap. Lastly, decide on a time limit, keeping in mind that you will need to watch her children for the same amount of time that you and your husband plan to be out.

My husband and I recently started a kid swap with some friends and neighbors of ours. They graciously offered to watch kids first. My husband and I decided to only be out two-and-a-half hours because our friends both work outside of the home and by Friday, we are all tired. Two-and-a-half hours was a nice amount of time to grab some dinner and just have some uninterupted, quality time to talk. We even ran two errands. On top of that, we knew that when it was our turn to watch the kids, we would be able to handle that amount of time without feeling exhausted the next day. So, kid swap makes everyone a winner. We get to go out and have much needed time with our spouse while our kids are having fun playing with friends and we don't break the bank paying for a sitter. Our friends will have the same luxury in just a few weeks.

Consider making a date with your spouse and find somone to kid swap with you. Check with us tomorrow for another number two to reconnect with your spouse!

Your Girlfriends, Melinda and Michelle

Weight Loss Wednesday & Ten Terrific Tips for Snacking

Weight Loss Wednesday is a time to weigh-in on all things healthy - but most importantly, Weight Loss Wednesdays are all about me, me, marvelous me and how I am doing on my diet. Just kidding, but since weight loss is one of my goals for 2010, I will be sharing my successes and failures with my Weight Loss Wednesday posts this year. I will also follow my weigh-ins with some tips for encouraging all my girlfriends that have weight loss as a goal this year.

So, I jumped on the scale this morning and I have lost 3 pounds! Yea! I am glad the scale is moving in the right direction and am pleased with my eating habits this week. I will continue on the same eating course, but will be increasing my exercise. I did Pilates yesterday, but I know if I am going to be bikini ready by June, I am really going to have to step up the exercise. I am going to start doing the 30 Day Shred with Jillian from The Biggest Loser. I purchased it, unwrapped it, but am afraid to start it because I know it is going to kick my very unfit 39 year-old-and-holding body. My goal over the next two weeks will be to do the 30 day shred three days each week and Pilates twice each week. I am pleased…

Our Ten Terrific Tips for today are all about one of my favorite things – snacks! It is important to choose Something Nourishing And Calorie Kind instead of Something Naughty And Calorie Kamikaze. (get it?) Choosing the right snacks can keep your snacking from wiping out all of your hard-earned diet results in those few minutes that a snack attack could occur. The first five tips are great tips for being in control of your snacks and not allowing them to control you!

1 - Don't keep temptations in the house – if you may be tempted to eat it, don’t keep it in your house. This is easier said than done when you have children in the house. My suggestion is to purchase snacks that my children like, but that I will not want to eat.

2 - Practice portion control – while the 100 calorie snack packs can be the perfect snack for dieters, they can be pricey. Choose a time when you are not hungry and portion out bigger boxes or crackers or cookies into snack size baggies. Then, when you want a snack, just grab a baggy!

3 - Make healthy options extra easy - Bell peppers are a great snack, but they won't get eaten if they aren’t cleaned, cut up, and ready to eat when the snack attack hits. So I try to set aside time when I get home from grocery shopping to make all my healthy snacks easy to grab-and-go.

4 - Out of sight means out of mind - it's great to package snacks into pre-measured servings, but it's even better to not get around to eating them at all! I find that if I keep my more indulgent snacks in my drawer instead of on my desk, I'm less likely to get around to eating them. You know, out of sight is out of mind…

5 –Avoid making ‘snap’ snack decisions – if you are tempted to have an unscheduled snack, drink a glass of water and give yourself ten minutes to rethink the snack. Often times, dehydration presents itself as hunger. If after ten minutes and a glass of water you decide you really are hungry and not just dehydrated, then try to have a healthy snack.

For the last five tips, I am going to give you my five favorite snacks to eat during my planned snack attacks - primarily between lunch and dinner, but sometimes when the grumblies get the best of me before bed.

6 - Fat-free pudding cups, especially the chocolate pudding cups. Yummy!!

7 - One cup of strawberries with fat free whipped topping. Summer yummy!

8 - Chocolate graham crackers with fat free cool whip – think poor man’s ice cream sandwich. I make a bunch of them and freeze them for snack attack time.

9 - Jelly Belly 100-calorie pack – yep, I love Easter candy. It is a total weakness for me. When the malted milk eggs, jelly beans, and Reese Peanut Butter Eggs come up, I will need to seriously up my support team!

10 - ½ banana frozen with peanut butter and mini chocolate chips – This is my ultimate snack. I love, love, love chocolate covered frozen bananas. The peanut butter is just icing on the cake!

I hope my Ten Terrific Tips are helpful to you. I would love to hear about your favorite healthy snack.

Your Girlfriend, Michelle

Tasty Tuesday - Beef Enchiladas

Girlfriends With Grace is all about relationships that we as girlfriends have - relationships with our husbands, boyfriends, children, parents, siblings, and most of all, our other girlfriends. Today's Tasty Tuesday recipe is a great winter recipe and since it is so easy to make, I really want you to consider making a double or triple batch - one to eat tonight, one for the freezer for a more hectic than usual evening, and one to encourage a friend our family member.

My friend and next door neighbor is having a rough start to her new year. A week into 2010, her aunt passed away after a very long and valient battle with cancer. That very night, her mother (and sister to said aunt) who lives in independent housing, started to show more serious signs of dementia to the point of possibly needing to be moved to assisted living. My friend has been busy with funeral arrangements for her aunt and making major decisions for the care of her mother. She didn't ask for a meal and I am sure if I offered, she would probably turn me down. So, I am not going to offer - I am just going to take her some dinner to let her know that I love her and I am thinking of her as she travels this very lonely path.

Beef Enchiladas
1 - 1 1/2 pounds ground beef
1/2 cup onion, chopped
1/2 lb. grated cheddar cheese
/2 lb. Velveeta cheese
1 can cream of chicken soup
1 6 oz. can evaporated milk
1/2 can Rotel tomatoes with chilies
1 package large flour tortillas - you can use small too, I just don't know how many!

Brown meat and onion toether and drain off fat. Add grated cheddar cheese, mix well, and set aside. In a saucepan, melt velveeta cheese and soup. Add evaporated milk and tomatoes with chilies. Roll up meat mixture in large tortillas and place in a greased 9 x 13 baking dish. Cover entirely with cheese mixure and cover with foil. Bake at 350 degrees for 20 minutes. I usually serve this with a side of mexican rice.

Best of all, while you are enjoying your dinner, you can think of your girlfriend who is also enjoying hers!

Your Girlfriend, Michelle

PS - the photo on the blog is not what your enchiladas will look like as yours won't have red sauce on top, just a totally delicious, creamy cheese sauce.

Make It Monday- Hot Cocoa Cones

On Friday, Michelle gave some great ideas on how to create a hot chocolate buffet to top off a fun sledding party. Today, I want to share an easy craft idea that you can share with others, and best of all, you can even get your kids involved in this fun activity.
It is so easy for us girlfriends to get in a rut during January, February, and March. The winter blues can bog down our daily lives. Just think how you might brighten people's day if you walk into work, school, or church with a basket of hot cocoa to share. Invite a girlfriend and her kids over for a morning of hot cocoa, play date, and girlfriend time! Just remember to be purposeful about spreading a kind word instead of a gloomy, winter-blah attitude.

Hot Cocoa Cones
Ingredients:
3/4 hot cocoa mix
1 (6- by 12-inch) cone-shaped cellophane bags (available at party stores)
2 clear small rubber bands
1/4 cup mini chocolate chips
3/4 cup mini marshmallows
1 large red gumdrop

1. Pour the cocoa mix into one of the bags. Close the bag with a clear rubber band, then trim the end of the bag. (about 1 inch from band)
2. Place the cocoa bag into the second bag and flatten down top.
3. Next, layer the chocolate chips, then the mini marshmallows, and top with a gumbdrop.
4. Secure the bag with the other rubber band.

Hot Cocoa Mix:
3 cups powdered milk
1/2 cup cocoa powder
3/4 cup sugar
dash of salt
Mix all ingredients well in a large bowl.

You can change the flavor of your cones by what you add to them:
*Crushed Candy Canes
*White Chocolate Chips
*Crushed Werthers Candy
*Colored M&M's to match the holiday or occasion
*Red Hots - they make heart shaped for Valentine's Day!
*Sprinkles
*Colored Gumdrops to match the occasion
*Mint Non-Pareiels

Make your cones pretty and personal by adding:
Different colors of ribbon
Flowers
Special note
Decorative tags

All year fun: Don't limit these fun cones to hot cocoa, you can also make:
*Soup Cones
*Milkshake Cones
*Ice Tea Cones
*Mulled Spice Cones

These cones would make fun favors for your sledding party guests, a great gift for your mail person, or send one or two in with your child's teacher to enjoy in the cold afternoon while grading papers!

Melinda

Friends and Family Fridays

Friends and Family Fridays will focus on fun ways to spend time with the most important people in your lives… your friends and family. We will aim to give you some great ideas for inexpensive and easy ways to make your gatherings more memorable.

I can not think of a better way to beat cabin fever during the winter or a better way to celebrate a snow day than to go sledding! If you have been blessed with SNOW like we have been blessed with snow, embrace the cold weather by hosting a sledding party. It's fun for kids (and adults) of all ages and a great excuse to head outdoors in the winter. Hostessing a sledding party is fairly simple and since we currently have a lot of snow and we are predicted to get a bit more, call up a few families and ask them to join the party. Remind your guests to bring their own sleds, decide on a safe place to sled, and set a time to meet.

Of course, that could be it for your sledding party, but if you know anything about me, a party isn’t a party until some eating occurs, so why not invite everyone back to your home for… a hot cocoa buffet! So what is a hot cocoa buffet, you ask? Well, you supply the hot cocoa and a buffet of fun add-ons and voila, you have a hot cocoa buffet! Here are a few tips to make your post-sledding more memorable:

Hot Cocoa Buffet Suggestions
• Use fancy mugs - I want, want, want polka dotted mugs - just sayin'...
• Have a few varieties of flavored hot cocoa such as peppermint, white chocolate, dark chocolate, or caramel.
• Make sure the milk or water starts out HOT because the room temperature add-ins will cool the cocoa quickly.
• Finely chop your chunky add-ins so they will melt well.
• Have both liquid and dry options for add-ins.

Hot Cocoa Bar Add-Ins
• Mini Marshmallows – can you really have cocoa without marshmallows?
• Peppermint sticks or broken candy cane pieces
• Flavored syrups
• Whipped cream
• Flavored whipped cream
• Sprinkles – special colors for special occasions
• Jimmies
• Chopped up candy bar – heath and butterfingers are personal favorites
• Chocolate chips – I prefer mini chocolate chips because they melt faster

• Chocolate truffles
• Caramel squares
• Gumdrops or gummi bears
• Mini chocolate chips

A sledding and cocoa party, what could be better? This is a great way to spend time with your family and friends (onew blogger friend) without breaking the bank. Better yet, ask each of your families to bring something to contribute to the buffet without telling them what it is for. Most importantly, remember your camera, be safe, and have fun!!

Michelle

Yep, this could be you...

Thank You Thursday- Two Simple Words

Two Words can go a long way! Think of some of the ones we use everyday....get dressed, stop that, come on, dinner time, get off, listen now! Words can so easily be a negative part of our day. Thank you seems like such a simple phrase, and yet we reserve it for special times. We encourage our children to say it when they are young. So why do we not require the same of ourselves?
This time of year is a great time to reflect on being thankful. We have just celebrated numerous holidays, eaten food that makes us think about dieting, and started a new year, and hopefully we are healthy. It is also a great time to teach our kids about being thankful. But the coolest part about being thankful...it is always in style. People like to know that you appreciate what they have done for you.
In today's world we sometimes forget the simple, yet effective way of saying thanks...a Thank You Note - most kids have never even written one! And yet, think how you feel when someone takes the time to write one to you. Kids are never too young to learn how important this is. Here are a few simple ways to help your children learn the importance of thank you writing:

1. Keep it Simple: Don't make them write all the notes at one time. Have them do 3 a day until they are done. Also, let them keep the note inside simple and to the point. If the children are young, ask them what they want to write, and you put it down for them.

2. Make it Fun!: Most kids will think of this as a chore...so make it a craft or game. Create a special shoe box of supplies. Pull it out when it is time to write the notes. Have fun pens, paper, and art supplies in it.

3. Let your child be Creative: Try not to tell them the proper way to do it. Let them to be creative and explore new ways to say thank you. After all, is there really a wrong way to say thanks?

Kids like to show appreciation, they just need to be encouraged to do so. Take the time to instill this value in your child. It will serve them throughout their whole lives. Being grateful is a trait that will only help in their adult years.

Some Fun Ways to Create a Thank You Card:

• Use old Christmas cards or greeting cards to create new thank you cards.
• Decorate white paper with stamps to create your own stationery.
• Use a paper plate to create an unusual shaped card.
• Use kids hand prints to create flowers, reindeer, and many other creations. This is great for family, so they can watch the child grow.

More great ideas can be found online! Hey...thanks for reading!

Melinda

Weight Loss Wednesday - Ten Terrific Tips

Monday I posted my resolutions for 2010 and one of my goals is to lose thirty pounds. I will be posting my successes (and my failures) every week on our Weight Loss Wednesdays. If weight loss is one of your goals for this year, I would love it if you would join with me and post your goal and losses with me. (hence the A in SMART – Accountability)

As the first part of our Weight Loss Wednesdays, I decided to share Ten Terrific Tips to help you on your weight loss journey. You can use them all or just a few that work for you, but either way, you will be a bit closer to reaching your weight loss goal.

1. If you bite it, write it! If you nibble it, scribble it! This is a method used by Weight Watchers where you write down everything you eat so that at the end of the day, you can reflect on what you ate. I do this and I am often amazed at how much I eat in a day, especially when I consider all the BLT’s – Bites, Licks, and Tastes – that I ingest.

2. Eat often - Don't just limit yourself to three meals a day. You need to keep your blood sugar steady to ward off hunger pangs, and the best way to do this is to eat five or six small meals a day. Try to include a small amount of protein each time to keep your tumbly from getting the rumblies.

3. Don’ be a closet dieter! Make your diet public! There's no reason to be ashamed that you're trying to lose a few pounds. Telling others will increase your accountability which, in turn, will add to your motivation. We would love you to share with your Girlfriends at Girlfriends with Grace. We would love to support you!!

4. Make only one change at a time - Keep at it until it becomes automatic, then add another change. If you continually build upon reinforced habits, you won't become overwhelmed and give up.

5. Never eat directly from a bag or box - It's too easy to mindlessly munch away half a bag of pretzels and even if it's a diet-friendly snack you'll have eaten several servings before you're done. Put your serving on a plate or in a bowl and put the package away.

6. Think about whether you're really hungry – Many times thirst or fatigue are mistaken for hunger. Maybe instead of that snack, you're really in need of water or a quick nap.

7. Have your dessert out - Go to the ice cream stand to have a cone or have a small dessert when eating out. Why? So you won't have any tempting treats laying around the house, calling your name.

8. Slow down and enjoy your food – Use of the ‘fork down’ trick is encouraged - always place your fork down between bites and do not pick it back up until you've chewed and swallowed the bite you have.

9. Increase your fiber intake – In a perfect world, this would be by eating more fruits and vegetables, but in a realistic world you might need a supplement to help out.

10. Know that you will stumble – You are going to have days when your PMS or your emotions will get the best of you! Don’t beat yourself up about it, but on the other hand, don’t use it as an excuse to completely blow your diet. Let yourself know you probably shouldn’t have eaten the entire bag of Reese Eggs and move on… see how easy it is?

There you go – ten terrific tips for keeping your diet on the right track. Think about tip number three and consider posting your weight loss goal and your weekly success. Remember, your Girlfriends With Grace are here for you!

Michelle
Goal - 31 pounds

Tasty Tuesday- Warm up with Chicken Chili

I don't know about you, but when I think winter, I think cozy! I love the idea of being snuggled up inside my home with my fam! Our family takes dinner time very seriously. We rarely do not have a family meal time. In fact, my husband and I strive to eat dinner together as a family at least five times a week. For some families, this is just not possible due to conflicting work schedules, kids sports, and just the business of life. I encourage each one of you to set aside a few days a week to share breakfast, lunch, or dinner. Create a cozy feeling around your family table. Make your dinner table a place where you, your spouse, and most important, your kids, want to join in the family conversation. Let's face it, a year passes by before we know it! Start now on building a cozy family time around the table, not just for winter, but for all year round.

If you want a healthy, warm way to create coziness try this recipe!

Warm-up Chicken Chili

(serves 4 - 6)
10 oz. cooked and cubed chicken
1 Tbsp. Chili Powder
1/2 Tbsp. Cumin
2 cans diced tomatoes, not drained
1 can black beans, drained and rinsed
1 can kidney beans, drained and rinsed
1 small can minced green chilies
1 can corn, drained (can also use frozen corn)
1 can tomato sauce

In a medium saucepan, combine all ingredients. Simmer on low until heated through. Serve topped with cheese!

Extras:
* Add some yummy cornbread for a side.
* Make a double recipe and freeze half. (or take this extra meal to a girlfriend who needs a hand)
* Cook a whole chicken ahead of time. Tear the meat off and freeze in small packages. Pull out of freezer when you need faster meal.
* Try different kinds of beans- Light Red Kidney, Pinto, Great Northern

Melinda

If You Fail to Plan, You Plan to Fail

Over the last few weeks, I have talked with some of my girlfriends about making New Year’s resolutions and almost all of them said that they hate making resolutions. The more we chatted, the more we decided that it is not the making of resolutions that we hate, it is the reflection on resolutions not kept that we hate. So, with that in mind, I have decided to approach my resolutions for 2010 a little bit differently this year than I have in the past.

I began writing my 2010 resolutions and was reminded of something that I heard at a lecture on organization a few years ago - you can not reach a goal if you don’t have a plan to get there, hence the title of this post. I came away from that lecture with the acronym SMART which helped drive my resolutions for 2010. As part of being SMART, you should not list many goals – instead focus on only three to five main areas that you want to change and give specific steps you will take to achieve your goals.

You can make your resolutions SMART by making them...

Specific – try not to make your resolutions to broad.
Measurable – make your goals measurable so you can judge your success. For example, a goal might be to read twelve books over the next year or I am going to work out three days each week.
Accountable – tell others about your resolutions so they can support you and help hold you accountable. Better yet, share your resolutions with the Girlfriends With Grace gals – I am!!
Realistic – your goal should be attainable. For example, I am going to lose one pound each week vs. I am going to lose ten pounds each week.
Time – make a time line for yourself to complete your goals. This will help hold you accountable and will give you time to adjust your goal or your strategy for achieving your goal.

After reflecting on the SMART acronym, I decided that while I have many areas of my life that could use some improvement, I am going to stick to just five areas in which to make resolutions - or at least only five that I will be sharing with ya'll! Without further ado...

Personal Goals
1 – I am going to lose thirty pounds. Yikes! That sounds like a lot!! I am going to dust off my weight watchers books, start eating more fresh fruits and vegetables, stop eating sugar, white flour, and watch my carb intake. I will also start exercising four times a week. I have discussed my goals with a friend who is also try to lose some weight, and we have decided that if we don't feel like we are moving in the right direction by February 1, we will rejoin weight watchers for more accountability and support.
2 – I am going to improve my overall health. I don’t exercise at all and as we all know, that is not good for overall health. So, I am going to start exercising four times each week. I have three new DVD’s to use at home along with an exercise ball, strength bands, and some light hand weights. I also have printed off an exercise checklist so I can keep track of the days that I exercise. Lastly, I have also shared my goal with my dh so he can encourage me and sometimes join me.

Marriage & Family Goals
1 – I am going to have one monthly date night with my husband. I have set up a kid-swap with another family in our neighborhood who would also like a date night each month. We will watch their kids once a month in exchange for them watching our kids. This will remove the ‘we don’t have any money for a sitter’ excuse.
2 – I am going to spend more time with my kids. I spend a lot of time with my kids, but being in the same room with my children is not quality time. I am going to wait until they are in bed to do work when at all possible and plan to spend one-on-one time with each of them every day.

Home Goals
1 – I want to garden plant a garden and grow my own fresh vegetables. I have already discussed with my husband what I would like and my Mother’s Day present this year will be some gardening beds. I think this is a good goal because it promotes family togetherness, teaches my little sweeties about where food comes from, and will promote healthier eating habits.
2 – I want to recycle more. We do some recycling, but not nearly enought. My husband and I have been talking about setting up a recycling center in our garage and this will be our first step to increasing the amount we recycle. This will be an on-going goal for the whole year.

Financial Goals
1 – To shop with cash only. Our household has moved to a cash only system, but I am not always the best about following the plan. I tend to leave the house without cash and when I ‘stumble’ on something I want to purchase, I charge it. No more. I must pay with cash, I must pay with cash, I must pay with cash. (An added bonus - this will also make the dh very happy and you know what they say, happy spouse, happy house!)

Relationship Goals
1 – I want to invite my parents over for dinner more often. This is so easy and so doable – I just need to do it.

So now you know my resolutions. Why not comment on your goals for 2010 and let a few of your Girlfriends With Grace support you along the way?

Michelle